Pity the poor stepkid that agreed to take care of our critters while Mark and I are on vacation. Said critters include: Dusty, a 14-year-old dog that turtles out on the front steps and is constantly hungry; Purrkins, our 8-year-old cat; Chip, our 7-year-old ferret (which is pretty old for a ferret); 9 hamsters; two boisterous mynah birds; and two fish tanks filled with colorful fish. The stepkid is Arthur and these are his instructions:
| By 9:00 a.m. | Let Dusty out and back in |
| Shut 2 doors behind you, open bird cage | |
| Open curtains at window | |
| Check on all hamsters | |
| Shut both doors behind you | |
| By 9:15 | Feed Dusty |
| Feed Purrkins | |
| Let Dusty out and back in | |
| Check on Chip–take her out to play? | |
| Around 11 a.m. | Let Dusty out and back in again; give kibbles |
| Around 2 p.m. | Got to bird room. Shut door behind you. |
| Remove big water bowls and latch-on bowls | |
| Shut bird cage doors | |
| Clean bowls | |
| Fill water bowls with osmosis water only | |
| Shut both cage doors | |
| Prepare birdies’ food in latch-on bowls | |
| Put latch-on bowls in cages | |
| Close cage doors | |
| Add dry food as needed | |
| Close cage doors; leave room | |
| Shut both doors behind you. | |
| Around 4 p.m. | Return to bird room. Open cage doors. |
| Wait for bird to go in. Shut and lock cage doors. | |
| Shut both doors behind you. | |
| Around 4 p.m. | Let Dusty out and back in again; give kibbles |
| Between 4:30-6 | Feed Dusty |
| Let Dusty out and back in again | |
| At 6 or 7 | Go into bird room. Pull down blankets. |
| Shut curtains. | |
| Double check all hamster cages. Fill bowls. | |
| Clean any poopy areas after putting hamster | |
| in balls. Check water bottles. | |
| Shut both doors behind you. | |
| Turn lights on big fish tank. | |
| Around 8 or so | Feed fish in both fish tanks. |
| Top off Purrkins’ two bowls | |
| Check on Chip; play if not played with earlier. | |
| Refresh Chip’s bowls while she’s in the back | |
| bedroom area. | |
| Empty Chip’s poop pan. | |
| Empty Purrkins’ poop pan. | |
| Let Dusty out and back in again. | |
| Before 10:00 | Let Dusty out and back in again. |
| Turn off fish tank light |
Oh, and please feed the sea monkeys (brine shrimp) once or twice while we’re gone. And bring in the mail now and again. And the trash goes out on Tuesday mornings. And Dusty would appreciate your shoveling any snow off the front porch. He also likes daily rub-downs and…. Okay, you’ll do fine. Oh, and about the outdoor critters we feed….